‘I Am Tired of This Life’ — The Night a Woman Finally Opened Her Heart to Her Husband and Exposed Years of Silent Pain
I am Jane. But my husband knows me as Esther Jane, the woman he married eight years ago believing he understood her. What he never knew was that behind my smiles, my silence, and my obedience, I was slowly breaking. That night, when I finally spoke, was not planned. It was born from years of swallowed pain, lonely tears, and a heart that had reached its limit.
Mike and I lived in different places over the years because of his work. Sometimes Nairobi, sometimes Thika, sometimes a small town near Naivasha. People admired us. They said we were a “strong couple.” They said I was lucky to have a hardworking husband. What they did not see was the emotional distance, the cold silence, and the nights I cried quietly so my children wouldn’t hear.
Mike was not a violent man. He never hit me. But his words were sharp, his absence heavy, and his listening nonexistent. Every problem I raised was “drama.” Every tear was “overreacting.” Slowly, I learned to keep quiet. Silence became my survival tool.
Years passed. I carried everything alone — miscarriages I grieved silently, dreams I buried quietly, loneliness I masked with smiles. I woke up every day, cooked, cleaned, worked, and cared for the children. At night, Mike scrolled his phone, barely noticing me. I felt invisible in my own marriage.
