They Said I Was Too Soft in My Marriage — I Took Control Calmly and The Respect Changed Overnight
For a long time, people described me as too soft for marriage. Friends would say it jokingly at first, but later their tone changed. They told me I tolerated too much. My husband’s relatives would make small comments in gatherings, laughing that I was “too quiet” and “too understanding.”
Even my husband began to speak over me during conversations, dismiss my opinions in front of others, and make decisions without consulting me. I convinced myself that peace was more important than being right, and that humility was the secret to a lasting marriage. Deep inside, however, I felt myself shrinking.
I was present physically, but emotionally I felt invisible in my own home. The pain was not loud. It was subtle. It was in the way my husband stopped explaining his late nights. It was in the way financial decisions were made and I was only informed afterward. It was in the way my suggestions were treated as optional while his were final.
I began questioning myself, wondering if maybe I truly was too soft. Maybe marriage required a louder personality. Maybe calm women are simply overlooked. Yet every time I tried to imagine becoming aggressive, it felt unnatural. I did not want to change who I was. I just wanted respect without fighting for it.
One evening, after guests had left our home, my husband made a dismissive remark about something I had said earlier. He laughed and told me I think too much. That night I did not cry. I did not argue. I simply lay awake realizing that my silence had taught people how to treat me.
