Widow Refuses to Cry at Husband’s Burial — “Msinilazimishe Kulia” Her Calmness Sparks Village Whispers Before She is Exposed To Have Killed Him
The day my husband died, the entire village in Machakos gathered at our small home. Mourners wept openly, children clung to relatives, and neighbors whispered prayers and condolences.
Everyone expected me, his widow, to collapse into tears, to wail and demonstrate the depth of my loss. But I remained calm. I sat quietly, composed, and refused to give the performance they seemed to demand.
People stared, some muttering under their breath. “Msinilazimishe kulia,” I said firmly when my mother-in-law tried to pull me toward the coffin. I felt nothing or at least I thought I did.
There was a strange emptiness, an absence of grief that confused even me. The villagers’ whispers grew louder over the days that followed. “She is too calm,” they said. “There is something she is hiding.”
I could feel their suspicion like a weight pressing down on my shoulders. I tried to ignore it, but every glance, every hushed conversation, reminded me that the calmness I had maintained was being read as deception.
I had always believed that grief was personal, that showing emotion on demand was performative and unnecessary. But now, their judgment forced me to confront a truth I had buried even from myself: something about my husband’s death was… unusual.
